ariaadagio ([info]ariaadagio) wrote,
@ 2008-05-08 22:10:00
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Current mood: curious
Entry tags:episode commentary, grey's anatomy, musing

Episode Commentary: The Becoming
Huh.

I'm not really sure how I felt about this one...  


Definitely not a funny episode.  I think I laughed maybe once.  I loved Derek and Meredith with the champagne (was it just me being googly-eyed or did PD act the shit out of that?) and their joint surgery and practice scenes.  Bailey and Mark was golden.  Derek slept with Rose (bleh) but he's showing such a level of self-hatred about it that I can't really say much against it.  He knows it's bad already, so why should I waste my breath on berating him for it?  

I really don't like that the therapist is heaping the entire blame for this on Meredith.  Meredith is a coward with Derek, true, but, honestly?  She's earned the right to be, and no therapist in her right mind would be pushing somebody back to a divorcee in mid-life crisis mode who has a proven track record for being unreliably honest.  I do love that Meredith is continuing to be a kick ass doctor.

Izzie and Alex...  They are *so* setting that up again.  That'll be nice, since it's the one relationship Izzie's had that I enjoyed watching.

Callie and Hahn...  I can't tell if they're going to drop this or not.  If they're smart, they'd drop it.

I could have done without the gay stuff, not because it was about gay people, but because of the way the storyline played out.  The camera lingered on that kiss for a *long* time, and it just seemed sort of like a trashy ratings ploy to me.  I don't know.  It just seemed shallow and vapid.

This episode felt like filler to me.  I kept waiting for something.  I don't know what.  And unlike the last two episodes, I didn't get it, whatever *it* was.  I'd certainly watch the episode again, and didn't think it was bad, but it just wasn't all there for me.

Finally, a little off-topic, but the episode title bothers me, because the only logical explanation I can have is that the lyrics are what Shonda thinks is going on inside of Meredith's head.  Which is bloody scary.  Meredith's voiceover had some parallels with it, but... the mood?  Completely different.  Did Shonda even listen to this song before she named an episode after it?

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(Anonymous)
2008-05-09 02:39 am UTC (link)
Aww I loved this episode! I don't think Dr. Wyatt is blaming Meredith so much as pushing her to admit that she's scared. And I thought that the Mer/Der scenes were all really...hot.

The soldier story was anvilicious, but I also thought it was very touching and not at all trashy. They lingered on the kiss for a long time, IMO, because it was a kiss that showed how in love they were - and because Meredith was staring at them longing to have that kind of kiss again.

I've been waiting for a long time to see a gay couple among the main characters on this show, so I'm actually rooting for Callie and Hahn, but am pretty disappointed by their lack of chemistry. Callie and Addison would have been great.

Off to find "The Becoming" lyrics...

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[info]tortiecat86
2008-05-09 02:45 am UTC (link)
I've used my breath to berate Derek...it was not my favorite moment of the night. I do agree though--he is already giving himself hell for it, so...at least it's not going to happen again? And if you were just googly-eyed, then I was too. I melted into a lovely puddle for a few wonderful moments until "Who's the bigger whore?"

I want the Callie/Hahn stuff dropped too. I wrote a final paper in my last semester of college about homosocial bonding and feminism (or lack thereof) in Grey's, and Hahn had a decent chunk all about her. I'm not against her being a lesbian because...she'd be a lesbian...but because it would be so predictable. She's a strong, assertive, aggressive woman? Turns down Mark Sloan? Calls out what she sees as the Boy's Club? Well, of course she must be a man-hating lesbian then. Really...she can be whatever she wants, I just want them to pick something and go with it, and if she is a lesbian--just drop the thing with Callie.

I don't know what to make about Cristina. I think I just don't care enough. I was really excited about Grey's again for the last two episodes...and now I'm just feeling the foreboding dread that marked the last four or five episodes before the strike. Maybe next week will be better. (Sorry for the long, babbling comment, by the way. I think this is the first time I've delurked over here...or at least the first time I've not been to lazy to sign in.)

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GreyGirl24 checking in
(Anonymous)
2008-05-09 03:01 am UTC (link)
I agree, the episode felt like filler. I was waiting for something that never happened. Blah.

I LOVED that he told her to look at him in order for them to get in sync during surgery -- aww :) I liked the scene with the champagne, but I was really hoping for a hug, or maybe some thumbsex. Bummer.

Peeps @ TWoP are in a tizzy, convinced Rose is gonna turn up preggers. It is my firm belief that Derek wraps it up at the beginning of a new relationship -- he was using them left and right with Mer at the beginning of the show. I'm not worried. And I side with you -- Derek feels bad enough about the sex without me piling on. He regrets it, Mer already thinks it happened since Rose asked for the form ... it's going to be a non-issue.

I was actually a little let down about the champagne -- after seeing the promos of them with the champagne in the finale I was hoping it was like, new house champagne, or something like that. So I'm a little bummed that it's work-related champagne, but Mer+Der+alcohol=your reunion fanfic, so I'm OK with it :)

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(Anonymous)
2008-05-09 04:22 am UTC (link)
Derek sleeping with Rose makes me sick to my stomach I hoped so much that they wouldn't go there. Did he really need that to realize rose isn't Meredith? How dumb is he? I don't know how I can enjoy a reunion so shortly after this. What's Meredith supposed to do get her acts together and forgive Derek for everything? and Derek ignores rose in next week's episode (how mature) just like he ignores Addison in season2 I just don't get this plot line's purpose is there going to be a new woman for Derek every two season when he is not satisfied by Meredith what's next a single mother maybe, when Meredith doesn't want to have kids right away. I totally agree with you on the therapist I completed my psychology rotation 2 months ago and there is no way a qualified psychologist would push Meredith back to an emotionally unstable guy like Derek, if anything she should help her move on but then Shonda doesn't want her to move on so I'm not surprised there. Derek is upset that he slept with rose but we still don't see him taking any blame about the break up it's all on Meredith and the closer we get to the final the more I resent it. The only thing that I can hope for is that Meredith won't be the one to give in and agree to the house or something like that I want Derek to love her for her not because she fits in the picture that he has created for his life. Derek should realize that he can't have everything he wants when he wants but knowing Shonda we'll probably have Meredith on her knees proposing to her perfect Mcdreamy by the final! Sorry I'm so bitter I just can't see a meaningful resolution to this in 2 episodes (rose and Derek aren't even broken up yet) Shonda took 20 episodes to break them up piece by piece and she can't just put them back together in 1 episode.
LILI

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(Anonymous)
2008-05-09 08:46 am UTC (link)
Maybe it's stupid, but I still feel hopeful after this episode. It was slightly filler-y, but possibly in a good way. I too, felt like puking when Derek admitted he slept with Rose, but maybe this is the beginning of his eye-opening. He certainly seems like he stopped being in denial about this whole issue. We also got Mark realizing that being a whore is not necessarily a good thing. Cristina actually voicing up her feelings about Burke and the treatment she gets form Hahn. And I love Cristina, so it totally teared me up. Mer admitted to Cris that she's in therapy, George/Izzie didn't even interact, Alex/Izzie are maybe on their way back to each other...I guess what I'm saying is that there was a lot o movement there, just no big WHAM. And I hope that comes next week.

I agree that normally, a therapist wouldn't push Meredith back to Derek. But she's right that Mer needs to deal with the reasons why they broke up. Being scared is one of that reasons...and talking about it could lead to all those other reasons, like daddy issues, Derek leaving her for his wife, etc...

I didn't really care for the gay storyline. But Tod (if that was his name - the one that wasn't sick) was really cute ;-)

G_H

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[info]shalia74
2008-05-09 09:36 am UTC (link)
I watched it this morning before work and I liked it. I thought there was some "meh" moments but otherwise I liked the bit of growth in it. Although I agree that it was a bit of a filler.

I'm not mad at Derek for sleeping with Rose. I mean I'm REALLY thankful that we didn't have to see it but I thought it was bound to happen. Before 4x12 aired I was already thinking they had done it since it had been 6 weeks and all. I think it needed to happen so that Derek could start realizing some things. It should lead him to admit other things.

As for Rose, I'm sorry but I can't feel bad for the fact that he is gonna ignore her. It's been made clear more than once that she knew about the whole MerDer saga so she knew what she was getting into.

I love Dr Wyatt actually. Because she's calling Mer on things, it needs to happen. I didn't see it as blaming her for everything. I thought it was a first step because if Mer can admit that and deal with it then it should lead to other issues.

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from New Yorker
(Anonymous)
2008-05-09 01:25 pm UTC (link)
Someone posted on TWoP awhile ago that they thought Rose is Derek's NDE and after last night, I agree. Just as when Meredith was "dead" she realized what life would be like without Derek, when Derek was "dead"/sleeping with Rose, he realized what life would be like without Meredith. So now both of them have died in their own ways and can be re-born, both individually and as a couple. They are also both on the same level emotionally, both flawed and both very much in love with each other. As much as I hated Derek sleeping with Rose and think it could be interpreted in ugly ways, I understand why they had him do it, because now he and Mer are on equal terms. If they aren't, they won't be able to re-unite in a plausible way.

I also now think it's very possible that Derek may decide to build the house before he and Meredith re-unite for good, possibly based on her giving him some hope they will have a future together. When she's at the house site with the bottle of champagne, the foundation has already been laid, just as the foundation for their new relationship has already been laid.

On one final point, I think the emphasis on Derek in Meredith's therapy sessions is a result of the time crunch with only five episodes this half of the season. Had they done this IMO the right way, Meredith and Derek would have broken up at the beginning of S4 with no Rose and Meredith would have spent all season in therapy where all her issues could be addressed. I also think the writers feel that most viewers are mainly interested in getting them back together, and don't want a re-hash of Ellis and Thatcher at this point. Maybe we will see that in S5.


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more from New Yorker
(Anonymous)
2008-05-09 01:54 pm UTC (link)
wanted to add:

I think the whole point of Derek sleeping with Rose was so Derek could answer his own question of what would happen if someone else came along. In Derek's mind someone else did come along, and now he knows, even if the person was right on paper it won't work without Meredith. I think it was critical for Derek to answer this question for himself.

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Re: more from New Yorker
[info]ariaadagio
2008-05-09 02:18 pm UTC (link)
I am utterly amazed at the Derek hatred coming out for this...

Right now, Meredith is learning to get over her fears, and Derek is learning that the endgame he wants really doesn't have a lot of meaning without the person he wants it with.

I'd wager to say this *isn't* what he learned before in the context of Addison because that was about fixing a broken marriage. That didn't seem to me to be about him wanting to settle down. The man has had a tumultuous love-life from day one of this series. I'm willing to give him a by on not figuring out what he wants very fast. He's been on a damned roller coaster, and sometimes, when you're on a rollercoaster, it's very hard to be self-aware beyond the very basic guttural, "I'M SCARED, AND I WANT IT TO END!" And Meredith with her whole non-talking, non-sharing, commitment-fearing thing cannot have helped with that. Not to mention the fact that as far as we know, Derek still thinks she tried to commit suicide. I really can't blame him for trying to outsmart his heart, go with logic, and be with a woman who's not jumping off piers and freezing up every second they hit some stepping stone of permanency in the relationship. He doesn't want to be alone, and up until this point, Meredith hasn't given him much reason to feel he'll ever not feel that way when he's with her.

It's very, very important to think of things in the context of what the characters know, and not what *we* know. We're privileged to a lot of extra information. Meredith doesn't know Derek told Addison he loved her back as early as that first Christmas. Derek doesn't know Meredith told her mother she loved Derek and was very happy. Derek doesn't know about Meredith's NDE. Meredith didn't know Derek was feeling left out and lonely until his bombshell speech at the non-wedding. Meredith doesn't know Derek is unhappy with Rose. Derek doesn't know Meredith is lying when she's pushing him at Rose. Derek *still* doesn't know Meredith hasn't slept with Finn, and as far as Meredith knew, Derek slept with Rose a lot earlier than he finally did. The biggest problem is that neither of them are on the same page anymore because they don't talk. They're very much in touch with their own wants, but not each other's wants.

Honestly speaking, I just can't side with either of them. I love them both. I can understand where both of them are coming from. I don't find anything that's going on now reprehensible or character-damaging, though my shipper heart might not like the way some of it is happening. I'm glad they seem to be getting their shit together, and I'll leave it at that.

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Re: more from New Yorker
(Anonymous)
2008-05-10 03:20 pm UTC (link)
you hit the nail on the head....ita

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[info]tracyhodgkins
2008-05-09 03:13 pm UTC (link)
I've just managed to watch the episode at last. I download it so don't get chance to see it until friday, the trouble is, fridays seem crazy for me at the moment.

I think I liked the episode on balance. I've been waiting for Cristina to say something about the way Hahn has been treating her and didn't she just. I also wanted some sort of reaction to what happened with Burke and we got it. I've always had trouble feeling sorry for Cristina in the past, she's only ever touched me before when she went shopping when Meredith was 'dead' and when she was trying to get her wedding dress off. I ached for her during this episode. She just seems to have become invisible and she hates it.

I'm amazed that Izzie has chosen now to be discreet, but I get why. I'd love to see Alex and Izzie together again, I actually liked her during their relationship.

George being the Chief's intern reminded me of when he was spying on the staff after the Chief's brain surgery. I think over here that happened in season 1, or was it early season 2, my brain has shut down!

I think I get what the therapist is doing with Meredith. In a way I think what she is doing is getting Meredith to focus on how she has got to this point in her life. I suspect that if she was giving Derek therapy she would tackle his issues. In a sense I found it good that for once Meredith was being made to face things. Part of Meredith's problem is Derek, clearly, but she has a whole load of other stuff too, her mother, her father, and so on, and it has all damaged her.

I'm sure loads of people will want to string Derek up now for sleeping with Rose. It just felt like part of a pattern for me, i.e. Derek needs to do something to prove to himself that it isn't actually what he wants after all. In some ways I feel he has self loathing down to an artform every bit as much as Mark. I can't get angry with Derek because I think he's starting to see the reality of his situation, i.e. that he is in a relationship with a woman he doesn't want and it won't work because she isn't, and never will be, Meredith.

On the other hand, what is Rose doing???? Isn't it absolutely obvious to her that Derek wants Meredith? If she couldn't see that Derek wanted to stay with Meredith, the woman needs glasses. I loved Meredith and Derek's little moment with the champagne and when they were doing the surgery. That look was just....You can put your own word here!

I liked how this episode made Mark look at himself. I've been waiting for some sort of development in Mark's character beyond the sleeping around and this episode gave it to me. Now all he needs is a good storyline.

I wonder whether the whole Hahn/Callie thing is a bit of a red herring? It feels to me as if we're being made to think that Hahn is gay and is chasing Callie when in reality she could just have found a friend in Callie for the first time and is being a bit too full on about it. I don't really get Hahn though, there is something about her that grates on me but I don't know why.

The episode felt very much like a filler to me. It felt almost as if it was a catch up with the characters type of thing rather than having a point in its own right, because while I felt that there wasn't much movement in the big picture, I felt as if it did say a lot about where all the characters are at this point.

I really don't know how Meredith and Derek are going to move forward from here. I suspect that what will happen is that we will see some things come out about their problems, enough to make them confront things, which I can see leading them back together, but I don't expect to see everything resolved in an episode (or is it two?) next week. I think that will play out over next season. What I hope in a way is to see something that shows that they want and need to be together, but that they have all this baggage they have to face. Then, next season, I hope to see them get to a point where knowing they are together, they work out how they can make it work.

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(Anonymous)
2008-05-09 03:47 pm UTC (link)
Reading your thoughts on Meredith and Derek and someone else who said now at least he won't ever wonder what could have been made me feel a little better about Derek but I'm still kind of pissed I know I won't enjoy the reunion until Derek takes some responsibility for all of his actions and not just sleeping with rose I want to see him apologize and admit that he did wrong but based on the therapy session I don't think that's gonna happen I know that they both made mistakes and hurt each other a lot but Derek has been the one who has left Meredith for another woman how is Meredith is supposed to trust him after this ? for all Meredith knows Derek has moved on and is happy with someone else shortly after breaking up with her so unlike Shonda I really want to see Derek doing the whole fighting thing cause he was the one who didn't know, now that he knows he should fight for it. Meredith knew that she wanted Derek from the start even if she was (rightfully)scared to commit. Meredith is not a coward that was probably what I hated the most in this episode I get that the therapist wanted to wake her up but to me it was like Shonda telling me that Meredith is the coward who is scared to commit and we will fix that in order to fix merder.
Lili

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[info]hiddenxharmony
2008-05-09 08:05 pm UTC (link)
Dempsey KILLED IT in that champagne scene. He had me all teary. Hell, Dempsey was acting the shit out of the entire episode.

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[info]sharipep
2008-05-09 10:15 pm UTC (link)
It doesn't bother me that Derek slept with Rose. She's pathetic and a disgrace to women, haha, but I can't say if a man looking like that was dating me that I'd say no either. Even if I knew that he was in love with someone else. Sometimes, a woman's just gotta get hers. It was completely unrealistic that two people their age had gone that long without sex anyway. It needed to happen. Someone else came along. Derek was making it seem like getting the life he wanted meant more than who he spent it with, and so he found the person who wanted what he wanted, and it turns out he doesn't want her after all. He deserved every minute of that bad thinking-about-Meredith-the-whole-time sex, esp.if it means he'll finally get over himself and stop playing martyr.

I love the Alex & Izzie of it all. Scared her not telling him about Ava will ruin that but whatevs, as long as KH doesn't leave like the rumors suggest, I'll be alright.

I honestly could care less about anything and EVERYTHING having to do with Callie and Hahn. So boring. SOOOO boring. Even her and Mark bore me. Callie has kind of bored me from day one, now that I think about it. Maybe she and Hahn should hook up and disappear. Wouldn't miss them for a second.

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(Anonymous)
2008-05-09 11:32 pm UTC (link)
It might have just be my idea of Cristina, but I thought she seemed out of character, especially the scene at the end with the chief. That outburst with the chief (and two strangers in the room), distraught as she may have been, didn't seem to fit. At the very least, I would have expected her to deman some sort of change rather than the whole "it's unbearable" line.

I thought the soldier patient and his boyfriend were sweet, though that kiss did seem shallow. It was really sad that he died :(

I can't really blame Derek, either. I like what you said about remembering what we (the audience) know vs. what the characters know. There are different shades of truth, and to him this relationship is how he's moving on with his life ... or at least his best attempt at it. Anyways, I'll bet that Rose initiated the McDreamy sex in response to Mark's spot-on comment. I feel bad for Mark, but I'm pretty sure he'll bounce back :)

While I think realistically, we should see Dr. Wyatt talking with Meredith about more than her love life (ellis? thatcher maybe?), I love the scenes just the way they are and wish we could see more. I hope Meredith doesn't give up on therapy! I don't see the therapist as heaping all the blame on Meredith, rather, she's trying to help her patient resolve her issues. They can't work on Derek without him there (how awesome would it be to see that scene?!) so Meredith can just do her part. That said, I'm not so sure she was she being a coward in telling Derek to leave with Rose - Her idea of truth tells her that the two of them won't work out, so she's doing what's best for him. Then again, there's nothing noble about about letting the love of your life slip away, as Dr. W said!

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[info]dermerfan
2008-05-10 01:40 am UTC (link)
I liked the episode.

The whole Derek/Rose thing doesn't bother me for a few reasons...One (and probably my biggest reason) WE as viewers didn't have to SEE it (thanks, Shonda), I think the only reason it happened at all was because Mark's comment to Rose got to her and she felt the need to prove him wrong (even if Mark never knew that) I don't think for one second it had anything to do with her actually thinking to herself... "Gee, I REALLY want to have sex with Derek today..." It probably wouldn't have ever happened had Mark not said anything. I think for her, it was about proving something...Otherwise, why hadn't they had sex before now?

Another reason...Derek didn't initiate it, Rose did. Derek didn't enjoy it...His mind was on Meredith the whole time...And I agree, he was full of self hatred afterward.

And whenever Meredith turned down his offer for him to stay with her at the hospital that night and he eventually gave in and went with Meredith...It looked like he was being sent off to be punished instead of going home with someone he enjoyed being with. He all but begged Meredith to let him stay and didn't give any apology when he told Rose he needed to stay at the hospital. He just said it and turned back to Mer.

It's VERY obvious where his heart is and whom it it with. Rose is either in denial or blind. I think she's getting a clue though because when he told her he had to stay, she looked disappointed and gave a sort of wave even though neither of them were paying attention to her.

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from New Yorker - PD quote
(Anonymous)
2008-05-11 02:01 pm UTC (link)
I just wanted to post it for people who didn't see it on TWoP. I think it verifies that the MerDer reunion will be great

Regarding 'Grey's,' how do you feel about Shonda Rhimes' plan to get Meredith and Derek back together for good by the end of this season?

PD "It's good. I have like a rainbow color of pages in front of me that I'm trying to put together in my script, and I just got to the final scene. And it's a beautiful scene where we get back together. It's really quite something. It's unexpected, I think, the way it plays itself out. It kind of gets back to the essence of what made this show so great.."

ITA agree with your earlier post aria. I refuse to take sides and love both the characters.

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(Anonymous)
2008-05-15 03:48 pm UTC (link)
It's good to see so many positive comments. And that most people are still hopeful. Personally it turned me off the show. Derek and Rose was 100% unneccessary and Shonda knows it. So their has to be another reason why it's there and from what I can see it's not a reason I like. Derek thinking about Meredith doesn't make it better nor is him ignoring Rose in the promo. It just makes him the guy my mother warned me againist in high school.

Now with this constant game of 'Everything is Meredith's fault'. I can say I no longer give a crap about this show or this couple. Luckily I still have fanfics like LST to remind me of how good they once were. And what they are like when written properley.

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