Huh.

I'm not really sure how I felt about this one...  

Just got back from Made of Honor.

Food for discussion.

Derek Christopher Shepherd...

I just realized I never posted my reaction!  Honestly, I liked it. 

That's me, I guess, the nekkid PD fairy...

So... lots of stupid things happening. 

This week, I'm getting shipped off to Seattle.  I'm staying one extra day to ride the ferries and get into mischief.  I'll be in a freaking hotel room for the Grey's premiere (at least it's in Seattle!).  I'm hoping some inspiration will hit me...  I was hoping to force myself to write on the plane but I'm stuck in the middle seat there and back, which usually does not bode well for being able to use my laptop.  Plus, writing sex scenes with people touching you shoulder to shoulder?  Yeah.  No. 

Anyone know if the ferries have plugins?  Maybe I'll just ride it back and forth and back and forth for some inspiration.  Not that I'm bitter or anything.  No...

Then!

Next week, I'm in Chicago.  If you don't hear from me, I haven't died.  Honest.

I could rant endlessly about my personal life at this point in time, but I'm fairly certain you don't want to hear it.  Suffice it to say, things aren't going that well right now.  My super secret goal of getting LST done by the Grey's premiere has been kiboshed by various factors.  I give up trying to plan writing time.  I just give up.  You win, universe.

Anyway, I'll try and post some PD goodness tonight before I depart.

So, I promised!

It's Monday.  I'm bored.  Can you tell?

Ran into an interesting poll when I was making my visit to the L&C fanfic boards.  Here are my answers.  Feel free to join in :) 

Your Writuals

Where are you?
In my black leather chair in the living room, or on the floor, or sprawled out on my bed.

What are you writing with?
A combination of notebook paper and my laptop. It's weird, but I always have to do my notes by hand, despite me doing all my actual writing on my laptop.  Luckily, I haven't turned in any of my writing notes to my boss at work by accident along with my real work.  "Who's Derek? What's a...  Wait.  Batteries?"  Yeah, I can see that going not too well.

What's the oddest object in front of you? 
...  No comment.

What are you listening to?
It depends on the mood of the scene I'm trying to write. Generically speaking, something electronic with minimally invasive lyrics, a good, repetitive beat, and generally not found on Pop Top 40.

Is there anyone else in the room?
I can't write when there are other people around.

What time of day is it?
Usually the evening.

What do you look at when you're looking for inspiration?
I don't look at anything in particular. I just stop writing and let my brain work through my muse failure. Shower time, bed time, and drive time = idea churn time.

What is guaranteed to remove your concentration?
People doing stuff nearby. Particularly stuff I'd rather be doing than finding my way through a hairy plot point. Like doing dishes. Or sorting pocket lint. *sigh

I would just like to add really quickly that making photo clips and video clips of my PD collection does take a tremendous amount of time on both my and SSBR's part (bless him).  I love that y'all share the love, and I certainly recognize that what I post aside from my blog entries and my fanfic isn't my intellectual property, but please, would you at least give me a nod when you do it?  Thanks :)

So, I watched A Season in Purgatory this weekend.  Wow.  I highly recommend it if you can get your hands on it.  I managed to snag mine from amazon.com for a price bordering on ridiculosity, but hey, I figure if I have the expendable income, why not?  Anyway, it was pretty entertaining and well-acted, plus, it was pretty much non-stop visual candy a la Patrick Dempsey.  I'm sure there's no news to be had in this statement, but... PD's character gets laid ;p

I'll try and post some goodies this week.  Stay tuned for PD in a wet suit.  Yes.  PD.  In a wet suit.  With wet hair.  And wetness.

I just realized I forgot to give you the goody I promised!  Shame on me!  Here's some:
 

Thank you all so much for the support :)  I got a flood of reassuring e-mails! 

I tried to look at a spoiler for Grey's today, and I just couldn't do it.  Couldn't.  Do it.  I'm almost starting to wonder if this whole problem I'm having with writing LST stems from anxiety over the show in general.  I'm sort of hovering in "What the hell will Shonda do to fuck this up this time?" mode.  I waffle between optimistic and ridiculously morose, and then I just shove it all out of my brain and do things that I actually enjoy instead.

I guess we'll see when Grey's starts up again.  Are you all ready?  Despite how awful I probably sound, I'm really excited, in my own paradoxical way. 

I'll try and get another clip of PD in minimal clothing up this week.  Stay tuned!

If you're bored at work, doing this over and over again is quite fun: http://www.freerice.com/index.php

Gotten 42 high so far.  I'm not sure if that's very bad or very good ;p

Here's some more...


Nothing new to report on LST.  *sigh*  I've paralyzed myself into some major writers' block at the moment.  The story is not on hiatus.  Believe me, I'm certainly *trying* to write stuff.  Time is certainly being dedicated to this story.  I ran out of steam, I guess.  LST is just.  So.  Long.  Add onto the fact that I managed to get myself very self-conscious about everyone's expectations for this part and, well...  SLAM.  Wall.  Ouch.  I'll try to keep y'all amused with my PD entertainment cache while my wheels are spinning.

I will get this part done, guys.  Thank you all for being so understanding.  I don't know what else to tell you at this point :(

I refuse to post on TWOP anymore, so I figured I'd add my two cents here.

1.  Can we deal with the fricken NDE?  Please?  I've written three very reasonable/poignant/sustainabley dramatic ways (I think) to pull MerDer out of this morass.  Can't Shonda come up with one?  Just one?

2.  Rose.  Get rid of her, or make her something other than a one-dimensional plot contrivance.  We know she's not going to stay with Derek -- don't treat the viewers like morons and try to pull suspense and drama out of something that is tired and old.

3.  Derek.  Can we please, please, please, please, PLEASE get some back story on him?  I constantly speculate that his seeming arrogance is a cover for extremely low self-esteem and fear of abandonment.  Can we see some of that?  On screen and not in my head?  Please?  Or come up with some other reason why he's a jerk who says beautiful things.  Anything.  I just want to see PD given something to deal with that has substance.  I make no secret that I pretty much watch this show to see him on my screen every week.  Give him something to do.  He's supposed to be the leading man.  Let him lead for god's sake.

4.  MerDer reunion...  Please, please, PLEASE don't force it with a baby.  If you have to have a baby, Shonda, don't make the baby a reason for them to get back together.  That's bullshit.  On a side-note, have I mentioned I think a baby on this show is a huge mistake?

5.  Addison.  Fine.  Bring her back.  But don't make her a Saint.  She can't ride in on her red convertible and fix MerDer in one episode.  If she's an impetus to get MerDer to fix themselves, that's great.  But don't let her sort out all their issues for them.  And I'd love some formal Addek closure.  A real sit-down discussion.  Please?

Grey's Scoop! Mer and Der, Together Forever?

TV Guide spoke exclusively to Shonda Rhimes about the springtime return of Grey's Anatomy. Full details will be revealed in the March 31 double issue of TV Guide, but this little nugget is too hot to sit on. In fact, it could get certain 'shippers' temperatures rising.

"I am pretty dedicated to the idea that Meredith and Derek are to be together for good by the end of this season," Rhimes told us. "What's going to be interesting is to see how she gets her act together, and how they decide that this is it."

So does that mean a wedding finale?
"I'm not saying that," Rhimes replied. OK, but will Meredith get a ring? "I'm not saying that, either," she said with a laugh. "Then again, I'm not saying that she won't."

Hmmm, there's not going to be another Seattle Grace prom, is there? "Let's put it this way," Rhimes cracked, "I don't think anyone is going to be in evening wear at the end of the season." — David Keeps


I get that, right now, MerDer is a trashed, broken, pathetic relationship.  I do (re: SAYTM).  But if Shonda makes this happen, I will be thrilled.  There is so much goodness to be had in S5 if the writers actually start making plotlines about MerDer navigating together to make a functional relationship.  I really hate to get my hopes up.  I do.  But I don't think Shonda has ever gone on record this definitively.  And now I'm excited.

Damn it!  I hate you, Shonda.  And your cake!

I'm still here.  I'm still writing.  I am not on hiatus.  It'll be done when it's done.  A perfect storm of various time-sucking factors have narrowed my writing time lately, but I am working on it.  Honest!  I even had a flash of inspiration in the shower this morning about some things that I've been a little stuck on.  I don't want to let you all down, and I don't want to stiff this story after I've worked on it so long, so I absolutely will not hurry this up for the sake of hurrying up or just getting the damned thing finished, despite the fact that there's nothing I want more at this moment than to be done with LST.  Barring nuclear cataclysm and total Internet failure, if I stop writing or give up on a project that is in progress, I will at least have the decency to tell you.  I care about my writing too much to do otherwise.

Title: So Are You To Me
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Pairing: Mer/Der
Rating: M
Timeline: Post Lay Your Hands On Me.